Love letters

February 26, 2024 Denise Torres

Several weeks ago, I ran into a YouTube video from Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love. In this video, she invited viewers to join her in her practice of writing letters to Love. I decided to try this. Here is one of my letters and Love’s response.

Dear Love,
Please tell me about my daughter and about being sad. …

One thing (of many) I enjoy about being Connected to Myself

December 29, 2023 Bryn Hazell

Woman with dark hair and red nails seated holding white mug, wearing plaid scarf and warm blanket. — Photo by @aloragriffiths on Unsplash

In the old days before NVC, I would find out that I was tired and grumpy AFTER I had done something that I regretted. (And of course, sometimes I still do this because I’m a HUMAN).

However, more often now I recognize how I’m feeling (thanks to a lot of practice). Not only can I connect to myself with some compassion, but I can also communicate to others what’s going on and they don’t have to try to figure out, “What they did” or “Is she mad?” or whatever stories might make sense of my behavior. …

A Beauty of Needs Practice

November 11, 2023 Bryn Hazell

Dramatic yellow/peach sunrise over trees, hazy mountain range in background — Photo by Bryn Hazell

When thinking about the beauty of needs like gratitude, celebration, and appreciation, the early morning view from my window comes to mind.

I see the sunrise and my entire being is flooded with whatever chemicals we produce when we experience a joy so powerful that our entire body feels that joy. My breath pauses. Tears well up. My throat and chest feel a surge like… love?

I’m nearly speechless, “Wow! Wow! Wow!”

What an incredible gift to see and to appreciate this spectacular event. What a gift is nature and its beauty. …

Sanctuary

August 14, 2023 Denise Torres

Red-haired woman with braid lounging in bed with mug of warm drink, dog snuggled up in blurred background — Photo by Samantha Gades, on Unsplash

Many years ago, I had just returned home from work, and right away I was mad at my daughter for not doing her homework. She asked me, “Are you mad at me or are you mad about what happened at work today?” The truth was, I was mad about work. That was what had all my attention. In that space, there wasn’t much room for, “Hi Honey, how was your day?”

In my experience, it can be difficult to have an open heart when it’s already too tired, and our focus is on what’s wrong. Neither of these conditions leaves much room for connection. This is a helpful thing to notice. Because, if we notice when we don’t want to connect, we can also notice when we need to rest and reset. …

Creating Space in Your Life

February 6, 2023 CCL

BW photo: Man in old-fashioned dress looking at watch, rushing away from door with suitcase — Photo by Christopher Luther on Unsplash

This post is part of our weekly series of peacemaking practices during the Season of Nonviolence.

How do you manage your day? If you have a habit of over-scheduling or leaving “just enough time” to get where you are going, you might find yourself feeling stressed and nervous as you rush through your day, harried and harassed. If there is someone driving slowly or there is more traffic than usual or you come upon a construction project, you might find yourself angry at each delay, and you arrive at your meeting in a state of anxiety and frustration, irritated with the world.

How about choosing to start a habit that allows you to move through life with more calm and with the ability to show up as your better self? …

Loving Fiercely

February 1, 2019 Denise Torres

We often picture love as romantic dinners, tender encounters, surprises, thoughtful gestures, helpfulness, and support. Admittedly these are the best parts. And yet, for me, loving is much, much more. It is also a radical commitment to take on all the obstacles—the fights, the anger, and the hurt; the stress, life’s uncertainties, and even our own insecurities in order to know something so sweet, so healing, so life-giving that our own lives would be incomplete without it. …

Be with all that this moment brings

February 28, 2017 Denise Torres

The other day, as my thoughts rambled along, it occurred to me that many things must have had to happen for me to be alive today. Like my parents meeting; that they married and they wanted children. Then soon after I was born I contracted encephalitis. Somehow the care I received, the expertise brought to that moment, the many prayers prayed, my own genetic makeup, and God knows how much more pulled me through. Any less might not have.

But really, aren’t there literally thousands of events that preceded my birth and many thousand more that have taken place in life my since then? …