Compassionate Communication… “Natural” but not “Habitual”?

August 28, 2023 Bryn Hazell

Photo of man holding baby, both laughing. — Photo by Lawrence Crayton, on Unsplash

When I hear people say about NVC, “This is not natural,” I think to myself, “Oh, it is natural, but I’m guessing it’s not habitual!”

We’re born with feelings that bring attention to needs. Babies cry when they’re hungry, tired, wet, or needing care of some sort. Babies usually gurgle happily when they’re comfortable and someone is smiling, playing, and tickling—giving them attention.

If we were all encouraged to notice, feel, and acknowledge our feelings and needs, we would continue that natural connection. Instead, it seems that we learn to stuff, hide, or be embarrassed about our feelings and needs, and we lose connection with them. But they are a natural part of being human. …

Creating Space in Your Life

February 6, 2023 CCL

BW photo: Man in old-fashioned dress looking at watch, rushing away from door with suitcase — Photo by Christopher Luther on Unsplash

This post is part of our weekly series of peacemaking practices during the Season of Nonviolence.

How do you manage your day? If you have a habit of over-scheduling or leaving “just enough time” to get where you are going, you might find yourself feeling stressed and nervous as you rush through your day, harried and harassed. If there is someone driving slowly or there is more traffic than usual or you come upon a construction project, you might find yourself angry at each delay, and you arrive at your meeting in a state of anxiety and frustration, irritated with the world.

How about choosing to start a habit that allows you to move through life with more calm and with the ability to show up as your better self? …

Working with the Inner Critic

April 1, 2019 Bryn Hazell

My mind is like a bad neighborhood. I try not to go there alone.”

~ Anne Lamott

Why is our mind sometimes like a bad neighborhood?

Here are two possible reasons: The first is that over the years our brain has evolved so that it can take shortcuts called neuro-habits. …