Imagine a family gathering in which a relative shares an article you find misleading, which claims that a certain group is responsible for economic decline.
 
You feel a surge of frustration and an urge to argue.

 Rather than argue you choose to apply NVC.

Start with empathy toward yourself, if you need it. …

Once you are re-connected with yourself and feeling more grounded, then you might choose to initiate dialog. …

“The four elements of the NVC framework—observations, feelings, needs, and requests—can help you discern truth and respond to misinformation constructively.

Observations Without Judgment: Begin by identifying the factual elements of the situation without adding interpretations or assumptions. For example, instead of reactively labeling a statement as ‘misinformed,’ focus on the specific claims being made. This creates a neutral foundation for discussion.

If an article claims that a certain group of people hold a certain belief (“liberals hate America” or “conservatives want to end the social safety net”) the factual element of the situation is not “this is true because it says so here” or “this is false because it goes against my beliefs” but rather, “this article states this.”

Separate from whether a particular claim is true, you can help someone uncover their assumptions when you clearly discern what you are observing and then get curious about the claims themselves. …

Nonviolent Communication is not a panacea that solves all problems—and yet, NVC has a critical role to play!

NVC is uniquely positioned to address extremism because it focuses on uncovering the unmet needs beneath human behaviors.

In NVC, every action is seen as an attempt to meet needs, whether security, significance, community, or something else.

By shifting the focus from judgment (“this person is dangerous”) to curiosity (“what needs are they trying to meet?”), NVC creates opportunities for understanding and constructive dialogue. …

At its heart, extremism often stems from unmet human needs. These could include needs for safety, belonging, meaning, purpose, autonomy, and/or significance.

(With regard to the last one, significance, I include it here both in the sense of mattering as well as in the sense of having power in your world. Many people have lost a sense of their needs mattering within social and political structures, as distinct from but often along with, a sense of powerlessness to address what is not working).

When these needs are persistently unfulfilled, individuals understandably give in to a temptation to meet them through rigid ideologies or groups that promise meaning, acceptance, or power.

When I say “understandably” it’s because…