You’re reading this, so I’m guessing you know that Compassionate (Nonviolent) Communication encourages us to focus on Feelings and Needs (as well as Observations and Requests).
For most of us, it seems to be easier to focus on times when our needs are not being met. It’s often mentioned that human beings survived by paying attention to potential dangers and warnings when they might be feeling scared, apprehensive, etc. Paying attention to feelings and needs may have meant the difference between life and death.
Acknowledging and getting to know one’s reactions to life (Feelings and Needs) is such important self-knowledge. It helps us see old patterns, stories that we tell ourselves, and how our system interprets the world. We can then learn to grow, change (if helpful), and communicate our life experience to others with more clarity, honesty, and connection. By practicing this, we gain insight to better understand and hear others as well.
I value moments of self-connection, including when needs are not met… and I very much value noticing when needs are met.. When we see and acknowledge needs met by nature, by friends and family, by actions of individuals and groups, and so on, we can learn to pause and let ourselves feel the gratitude, delight, happiness, joy, warmth, and amazement that can happen for us when needs are met.
If we pause, let our senses take in the met needs, and then let our corresponding emotions and feelings permeate our system, it sets off a cascade of feel-good healing chemistry in us. It helps to offset or balance stress and other feelings life brings.
If we notice the beauty of the sky, a leaf, a delicious aroma or taste, a favor, a gift, a good conversation, a smile, a warm response (or other wonderful ways in which our needs can be met), we calm our systems, feel our hearts grow bigger, and create more spaciousness to be our best selves.
If we then share these experiences (celebrations) with others, we bring this positive energy to them and the world. It’s a simple way that we can do something meaningful by bringing the consciousness and the reality of needs met in our lives to the lives of others.
Let’s “let in the good” and let’s share celebrations!
What’s happened recently that’s met a need of yours? As you remember, what feelings come up? Feel the feelings in your body. Is this a “celebration” that you might share with someone else?
~ Bryn
