The weather is sunny and warm with a chance of thunderstorms this afternoon. Do I ask myself if the weather should be different? Or is the weather just the weather?
A personal weather report might sound like:
- I am feeling tired because I haven’t been sleeping well and I need some rest.
- I feel disappointed and confused because you said you’d call and you didn’t.
- I am irritated because my boss said we have to work this weekend and I already have plans. I’d like consideration and choice.
Should we feel the way we do and have the needs we have? I find that “should” question so unhelpful.
If someone tells me their feelings and needs, I hope I wouldn’t tell them they shouldn’t feel that way or have those needs. I’d just listen and hold space for them to be heard.
So when I have feelings and needs, I want to respond in that same way. Something like, “Yup, that’s what’s up for me.” I don’t want to have a sense of righteousness for what’s up for me—it just is. I don’t want a sense of blame or guilt—it just is. I don’t want judgments. I just want acknowledgment.
When you are experiencing some feelings and needs, I’d suggest learning to acknowledge them to yourself in the style of your Personal Weather Report. It just is.
Then you can choose to share them with someone or not, but if you do, I think it will be more helpful to create connection if it’s just a sharing of “Yup, that’s what’s up for me right now.”
I’d love to hear from you for your take on this idea. Hearing from you would meet my need for connection, learning, and fun!
Please respond to firstname.lastname@example.org.